It’s been about 5 days since my last post, and so much has happened. I’ve kept with my training plan as best I could, except for yesterday when I skipped my run. The pressures that had been building up in my mind finally caught up to to me physically. I was exhausted, about to burnout from every angle. I know burnout because I’ve experienced it three other major times in my life. However, this was different because I was able to identify it right before it happened, at least that’s what I thought…
I’d decided last week that I needed a break. A break meaning I needed to break out of where I was physically and mentally, so what better way but a road trip through the Texas Wine Country! I secured my road trip buddy, made arrangements with work, made plans for the kids. and began planning our get away. Yes, even through a Pandemic life is possible if carefully planned (at least I was going to make it possible).
I think both my friend and I needed this getaway, but it’s like she said, I was still going through mourning. Wow! Yes, exactly! Is that what this was, mourning not burnout? Maybe that’s why I was so mentally tired when life had literally been called to a screeching halt three months ago. Forget the fact that work was blending with family life and family life was no longer taking place anywhere outside the home. I was mourning on top of that! Mourning for what though I said? It wasn’t until I was able to say it and really understand what it meant that my mind started to change… I was mourning the death of my marriage.
Despite the insecurities, the horror, the pain, and all the uncertainties that went along with said marriage, there was an idea and at some point love. The idea of love and the loss of that love was what was ultimately causing this burnout feeling. Once I was able to own up to what was happening, my thinking started to change. I could now truly RELEASE and start really breathing again. Moving ahead was going to be hard, sad, and at times lonely but at least now I knew why.
Running will have new meaning and my goals for training will be that much more focused. I’ve heard it from so many runners, as well as myself after the death of my first marriage, “running saved my life”. It’s true! Running can save lives. It does save lives. I, like so many of my fellow runners are living proof!
Now for today’s training recap! Ugh… I think I may have gained 10 lbs of wine and beer in the past three days, so I was happy to lace up this morning. Although I only technically missed one day of training, it felt like a week! I was scheduled to run a 4 mile base run, but ran 4.43 instead. I had decided that I was going to add slightly more mileage than my plan called for last week, so I just went with what felt right this morning. I also felt heavier, so had to accommodate with slowing down my pace just a little.
After logging today’s run I received koodos from my virtual coach, which was awesome! He explained the reason behind the adjustments in distance day after day, and it made perfect sense. For most, distance determines pace so this gives my training variety. I have to think about the total distance I am supposed to cover, the time I have, and the level of fatigue I am wanting to experience at the end of my run. Essentially, my coach said, I should be willing and able to do more of any physical activity after a run. If my training run is pushing me to a level of exertion that this is not the case, then I am training too hard and I need to reconsider my pace.
Another reason for the variety in my daily distances is the expectation that this will encourage me to vary my routes. It is true that often runners will run the same routes day after day because it becomes familiar. This is especially true if running within one’s own neighborhood. By covering different distances, the choice in route may change or be altered even if only slightly. This could add different elevations as well as a variety in scenery, which is always a huge plus for me.
Subconsciously, I have been applying these two aspects (pace adjustments and route variety). I think now though that I know these are focal points, I will be making more of a conscious effort to pay attention to the “science” behind my runs. What should my pace really look like for this distance? What type of training run is this (base, tempo, hills, distance, etc… )? Is my usual direction going to be enough for the distance I need to cover? Should I drive to a nearby trail or will my neighborhood be enough? Should I go crazy and explore an entirely new area for my long runs?
Awe the first world problems of a runner… love it! Happy running!
Runmom_6 